DEMI Moore has opened up about losing a pregnancy with her ex Ashton Kutcher, blaming herself for the miscarriage because she was drinking.
In her candid forthcoming memoir Inside Out, Demi also revealed she was raped when she was just 15, according to reports.
She believes this trauma sparked a long battle with her body image, which saw her obsess over her weight and abuse alcohol and cocaine.
The Ghost actress, 56, told how she was still drinking alcohol while six months pregnant with Ashton’s baby.
When she lost the girl, who she had intended to name Chaplin Ray, Demi blamed herself for the miscarriage.
Demi, who was 42 when she married the then-27-year-old Kutcher in 2005, said they pursued fertility treatments in the hopes of getting pregnant again.
But her drinking worsened and she started abusing Vicodin – an opioid pain medication.
She and Ashton separated in 2011 and divorced in 2013.
Demi, the star of films including Indecent Proposal and Striptease, posed nude on the cover of Harper's Bazaar's October issue.
She told the magazine about her struggles with alcohol and substance abuse and the impact it had on her relationship with her daughters from her marriage to Bruce Willis - Rumer, Scout and Tallulah.
Speaking about her relapses, she said: "In retrospect, what I realised is that when I opened the door (again), it was just giving my power away.
"I guess I would think of it like this: it was really important to me to have natural childbirth because I didn't want to miss a moment.
"And with that I experienced pain. So part of being sober is, I don't want to miss a moment of life, of that texture, even if that means being in some pain."
In an interview with the New York Times, Demi revealed she suffered a seizure after smoking synthetic cannabis and inhaling nitrous oxide while partying with Rumer in 2012.
Her health eventually began to deteriorate and she started suffering from autoimmune and digestive problems.
She received treatment at a a rehab program for trauma, codependency and substance abuse.
Moore's memoir, Inside Out, will be released later this month.
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